While voice is critical, no less important is subtext. As we discussed with dialogue, the goal is to not spell everything out. Say it, without saying it. Look at this passage from Kalifornia:
EXT. MOTEL – LATER
Early walks toward the Lincoln. It is parked outside Brian and Carrie’s room. The front door is ajar, he pushes it open.
He sees Carrie’s reflection in the bathroom mirror, she’s in her underwear, pulling on her jeans.
Early watches her for a moment. There’s no mistaking what’s on his mind... as his eyes scan her body. Carrie pulls on her T-shirt, steps out of the bathroom and sees Early just outside the door.
EARLY
...Need a hand with those bags?
CARRIE
No, thanks, I can manage.
Looks basic doesn’t it? Looks flat on the page. And it is. It takes actors to fill in the emotional gaps between the words. That is where subtext lies. “There is no mistaking what’s on his mind.” We see this, Carrie sees this. It sets up the pay off at the end of the movie, this emotional attraction. Even something as basic as this accomplishes subtext:
CARRIE’S POV – EXT. MOTEL
Early places the bags in the Lincoln’s trunk. Adele sees Early carrying Carrie’s bag, Adele looks jealous.
Dialogue needed: Zero. Why is such a short scene needed? It sets up back end emotion and plot. Look at what happens in the next passage, from Kalifornia again.
Carrie scans the landscape with her camera. She sees Adele walking around a small roadside graveyard. She is reading the epitaphs on the headstones. Carrie fires off a few shots. Then she sees Early, she can’t help but notice Early’s lean body. She zooms in on his muscles and prison tattoo. Click!!
Early completes the task. Together he and Brian begin putting everything back in the trunk. Suddenly, from behind, Adele jumps onto Early’s back, surprising him. He gives her a “horsey ride” around the Lincoln.
ON CARRIE
She notices Early’s wallet on the ground.
ON EARLY AND ADELE
She’s riding him, covering his eyes playfully.
ON CARRIE
She picks up the wallet.
BENEATH THE LINCOLN
Early’s feet galloping.
ON CARRIE
She opens the wallet to find two one dollar bills inside.
WITH EARLY AND ADELE
As they come around the side of the car and to a stop in front of Carrie. She holds up his wallet... watches his eyes.
CARRIE
You dropped this.
ADELE
Early Grayce if this ain’t your lucky day.
She hands the wallet back to him. Something between them goes unspoken.
Information. Who has the information, audience or character? What happens in this scene? What does it accomplish?
She can’t help but notice Early’s lean body.
Set up the physical attraction between her and Early.
She zooms in on his muscles and prison tattoo.
Early’s been in prison. She didn’t know that ‘til now. Neither did we.
She opens the wallet to find two one dollar bills inside.
Early will have to pay for gas. She (and we) see he has only two dollars. He will get the money by killing a man. We will see that (she won’t), though she’ll be amazed when he pays for the gas in the next scene. Lastly…
She hands the wallet back to him. Something between them goes unspoken.
This is one of many scenes where something goes unspoken. The sexual attraction, the danger of bad boy Early (one of Brad Pitt’s better, under-appreciated roles). Set up and pay off, like a mathematical equation. Built on short scenes like this.
Remember the delicate balance of the screenplay, how screen direction and dialogue feed off each other. Advanced screenwriting fuses these, hearing the writer’s/character’s POV along with just enough dialogue where needed, as in Bladerunner:
She’s wearing a short-sleeved dress. It’s a long, delicate arm and Deckard holds it, inspecting it like a maestro with a Stradivarius.
DECKARD
You ever take a bath with a man before?
RACHAEL
There’s a lot I haven’t done with a man before.
He’s got her hand in the water and soaps her arm. Starting with her wrist and running the bar to her elbow, up and down, slow and slippery.
She watches, not quite sure of the ritual. He pulls her closer, and runs his hand up higher, molding and pressing, working around her flesh, up and under her arm into the privacy of her dress.
RACHAEL
You’re getting me wet.
Oh, yes. For a moment Deckard stares at her like some furry-legged satyr, the fingers of his other hand rake through her hair and into the water she comes.
“Oh, yes.” Indeed!
