Perspective is the key to understanding. Put yourself in the shoes of the Unknown Screenwriter. You want to learn about screenwriting craft. It’s a priority. You’re going to make time for this. You’re bringing energy to the game, making it a priority. And you’re spending cash on books, and webinars, and sage advice by the likes of me.
The bigger fields questions are puzzling: Can you be taught to be funny? Can you be taught to write better dialogue?
The smaller stuff like format you’d think would be a slam dunk. Grab Final Draft, buy the Screenwriters Bible, study scripts on Drew’s Script O-Rama, should be good to go.
But what happens is the opposite. For every script you read, seems like “the rules” are being broken…scripts vary tremendously not just in story, but in the actual look of the screenplay. 500 websites tell you to not write unfilmables–what the camera can’t see–and then Peditto tells you pros break the rules all the time. So that means you can too, right? Well, Peditto tells you…sometimes. And now you’re like, ok, WTF….
To start with, if you have a track record as a screenwriter, if you’re a pro, you get more slack. If your script has tons of format issues but is making some noise at a production company it’s doing so in spite of the format errors, because the story is overcoming the small stuff. Nobody is sweating the Birdman script using WE SEE/HEAR and TILT UPs on page 1 because it’s an Oscar winner. Write Birdman and nobody will debate your use of CUT TO’s outside of screenwriting message board trolls.
All this as prelude to look over a couple pro scripts and some of the format stuff that bugs me and that you might want to skip. Remember, you being the Unknown Screenwriter, you’re on a shorter leash. Until you write Being John Malkovich you’ll need to abide by these rules…or let’s not even call them rules…let’s call them tendencies…
- BEATS
The reader wants to see your movie, not read a script.
The fuck does that mean? It means there’s a difference between you showing me the movie in your mind and KILLING me with endless, useless screenplay jargon/phraseology like beat. Every time you put in clunky beats between dialogue (instead of good old …) you’re giving the actor a line reading (not your job) and taking the reader out of the direct experience of seeing the movie. Don’t do it. Well fleas and guttersnipes, Good Reader! Who am I to take pot shots at such a fabulous screenplay? Just some dick with a blog…
Here’s an example from The Sixth Sense.
Read it with the beats. Then take the beats out. Let me know which reads smoother.
Malcolm can’t speak. Beat. The stranger’s face starts to
tremble.
STRANGER
I was ten when you worked with me.
Beat. Malcolm’s intelligent eyes race for answers.
STRANGER
Downtown clinic? Single parent
family?
(beat)
I had a possible mood disorder…
(beat)
I had no friends… you said I was
socially isolated.
(beat)
I was afraid — you called it acute
anxiety…
(beat)
You were wrong.
- CAPPING SOUND EFFECTS
Sticking with Sixth Sense, call this the Tarantino effect. He massively uses CAP sounds in his screen direction to spectacular effect. So why am I telling you you probably shouldn’t do it, Good Reader. Because it’s if not done well, your script will look like a series of SCREAMING EMAILS!
Like this passage:
Then THE SCREAMING BEGINS.
Darren and Tommy back away from the door as COLE SCREAMS IN
TERROR at the top of his lungs. He CRASHES OVER AND OVER
against the door. HIS BODY SLAMMING AGAINST THE WOOD. The
DOOR RATTLES like it’s going to break off its hinges.
The two boys are statues as Cole’s BLOOD-CHILLING YELLS FILL
THE HALLWAY.
FOOTSTEPS SPIKE THE AIR AS children and mothers come running
down the hall. Lynn is one of them.
Darren’s mother turns the corner.
DARREN’S MOTHER
Who’s making that noise?
She looks to the closet. THE HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMS CUT THROUGH
THE HALL.
You need to be consistent. If you’re capping THE DOOR RATTLES on page 1 you should do it on page 91 and every spot there’s a noise between them. Where does it end? Everything is a stylistic choice. I’m suggesting you might not want your script to look this busy.
- SMASH CUTS
I’ve had a series of pointless debates with my brother on this subject. He works as a producer for HBO and informs me that he reads dozens of scripts that have such things as CUT TO’s and SMASH CUT TO’s. I tell him that’s all well and good for pro writers. Just breaking-in writers? Probably shouldn’t be using them. This goes back to the clunky screenwriting jargon argument above, but also to the fact that you won’t be in the editing room (unless you’re directing the project) so you giving editing advice on how we get out of a scene is pointless. Cue the griping folks who inform me that dozens of screenplays past and present use SMASH CUTS and that’s not what really matters. Apologies to them and my HBO-working brother, but new writers don’t want to be doing this:
Kenny dumps the bundle with Mark in a big pile of dirty
laundry.
SMASH CUT TO:
EXT. MCCOY AIR FORCE BASE – FLORIDA – DAY
A pair of massive FILM CANISTERS unlock and drop from the
belly of the U-2. TECHNICIANS secure them in orange carrying
cases, lock them under key, fast and proficient. They whisk
them out from under the spy plane.
The Technicians run for an idling Jeep. They sling the cases
into the rear of the vehicle which in turn accelerates away
hard, curving across the runway for another waiting plane.
SMASH CUT TO:
- DIRECTING
Tell me we’re not gonna debate this again. Like arguing politics with Uncle Al over Thanksgiving jello molds…pointless. I feel your frustration, Good Reader. This is another one of those don’t do this EXCEPT on Thursdays and Saturdays 2-4pm. You don’t want to direct your script UNLESS you happen to be the director and/or you’ve raised the cash for production. THEN it’s cool to write it in like this passage from Friday the 13th, Part 6. Call it a rule or call it a tendency…whatever! The know-it-alls will tell you if you write Friday the 13th then you can write the script in pink crayola crayon, or in Comic Sans 20 Font–and they might be right. But what if your concept ISN’T quite so commercial? What if you’re writing a spec script and just breaking into the biz? I wouldn’t suggest you not tell the director how to do his/her job. It’ll look like this:
CLOSE ON JASON’S FACE
The force of the blows causes many of the numerous maggots to
start dropping off his face. Grossly decayed flesh is
illuminated the LIGHTNING.
CLOSE ON TOMMY’S FACE
Exhausted, his rage finally vented, he drives the spear into
Jason for the last time.
ANGLE DOWN – ON TOMMY AND JASON
Over the boy’s shoulder we see the long spear extending out
of Jason’s cold heart.
WIDER
Recovering from his tantrum, Tommy climbs out of the grave.
Hawes stares open-mouthed at his friend.
INSERT – HOCKEY MASK
It seems to stare back evilly at him.
TOMMY (O.S.)
Yeah. Fuck you, Jason.
RESUME TOMMY
Tommy, knowing the nightmare is finally over, tosses the mask
into the grave. He then bends down and starts to uncap the
gas can.
WIDER ON SCENE
Without warning, the sky EXPLODES with a mass of LIGHTNING.
One of the BOLTS OF ELECTRICITY is drawn to the spear as to
a lightning rod. SPARKS fly as the spear is struck and
electrified. Tommy and Hawes dive for cover.
TIGHT ON JASON’S FACE
JASON’S DECOMPOSED EYELIDS FLASH OPEN!
- WANNABE SHANE BLACKS
Look, I love the guy’s style too. But I’m not crazy enough to try to rip him off. Perhaps only Tarantino has a more copied style. I see it often and just as often it fails to impress because the writer doesn’t have the chops. Steal well, sure– Use the man’s verbs. See how he lays words on the page and mimic that? Why not. But trying to be outrageous just for outrageous-sake…unless you’re sitting on your own version of Lethal Weapon…not recommended.
ESTABLISHING SHOT – ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY – NIGHT
There. Thank you, New Jersey, that’ll be all. You can go
now. Um, please.
Or this one, with a funny as shit out line, but for Christ’s sake don’t subtitle like this:
At the next register over, a duo of Canadians throw looks
her way. Confer in rapid-fire French, subtitled for us:
CANADIAN #1
Ooh, j’aimerais la baiser. (Subtitle:
I’d like to fuck her.)
The checker looks up, smiles:
CHECKER
Don’t you love hearing people speak
French?
CANADIAN #2
Oui, j’veux etirer celle-la autour
d’une chaise. Comme je le vois, une
femme c’est comme Gumby avec des
seins. (Subtitle: I’ll stretch her
over a chair, women are merely Gumbys
with tits.)
HAL
Beautiful language.
He turns to Samantha — except Sam isn’t there. Her arm shoots
out-! CLAMPS on one of the men. By the throat. Catches him
like a fucking VICE. Her voice a sibilant hiss:
SAMANTHA
*Allez, Gumby etiriait le cou, fils
de pute*.
Subtitle: “Gumby’s gonna stretch your neck, motherfucker.”
Accent flawless. Eyes like steel. The man will go on to start
a profitable construction business with the bricks he shits.
