There are a couple ways to go with Montage format:
INT. PLAZA HOTEL- NEW YORK CITY- NIGHT (MONTAGE)
--Freddy Mac and Fanny Mae sip Maine lobster bisque with Merrill Lynch bigwigs.
--They munch Free Range Organic Chicken with Bank of American honchos.
--They slurp Nutella crepes with Citibank VP’s.
END MONTAGE
Or,
MONTAGE--FREDDY MAC AND FANNY MAE PARTY IN THE BIG APPLE
--Freddy Mac and Fanny Mae sip Maine lobster bisque with Merrill Lynch bigwigs.
--They munch Free Range Organic Chicken with Bank of American honchos.
--They slurp Nutella dessert crepes with Citibank VP’s.
END MONTAGE
Here’s another basic example, from American Werewolf in London:
PARIS MONTAGE:
- AT A BRASSERIE: Andy is about to escort Serafine
into the trendy eatery, but she stops him at the door
and points to the menu or more specifically the prices.
He makes a horrified face, and they move on.
-IN A BOULANGERIE: Serafine buys cheese, Andy buys
meats - the counterman shows Andy how big a slice off
the pate loaf he's about to cut. Andy nods "yes".
The counterman cuts it and offers the slice. Andy
shakes his head "no" and points to the much larger
remainder of the loaf.
-AT AN OUTDOOR MARKET: Detective Marcel, wearing
a lame" disguise" (new wave sunglasses ala "Diva"),
watches Andy and Serafine shop from a distance.
- IN A PATISSERIE: Andy points to a large baguette,
says something suggestive and winks boastfully at
Serafine. She gives him a "yeah, right" look and
points at a small breadstick.
- IN A WINE STORE: Andy looks at each bottle closely,
then "tests" it by shaking vigorously. Serafine's
amused. The owner's baffled.
- ON THE RIGHT BANK: Arms full of groceries, Andy
and Serafine pass the row of outdoor pet stores
near the river. Andy looks longingly at the live
ducks in their cages. Serafine pulls him along.
MUSIC fades out.
Montage is used to condense time for story purposes, to advance story without a single line of expository dialogue. Show, don’t tell is advice given to the point of cliché, but if followed, will remind you to always seek the visual solution.
MONTAGE OR SERIES OF SHOTS?
When do you use one vs. the other? This is another stylistic choice. If the passage of time is short, for me, SERIES OF SHOTS works best.
INT. COLUMBIA COLLEGE- DAY
As Professor Pauly teaches, he looks out the window. His car is being towed!
PAULY
Sonofa...!
SERIES OF SHOTS
--Pauly at the elevator. Nada!
--Pauly sprints down the stairs.
--Pauly out the front door, hits the street flying.
--Pauly to his car, just in time to find it jacked, rolling off on a flatbed tow-truck with Daley’s best.
SERIES OF SHOTS plays out over a short time frame.
The MONTAGE unfolds gentler, over a longer period of time:
MONTAGE--PAULY AND KEIRA KNIGHTLY PASS ENGLISH SUMMER AS ONE
--Pauly in the English wheat, hand in hand with his beloved Keira.
--Pauly and Keira at the swimming hole in period piece bathing suits, lovely weather!
---Pauly and Keira lie in soft rippling English wheat and gaze longingly in each other’s eyes.
--Pauly below Keira’s window as she douses her candle on another hot, wet August night.
END MONTAGE
Ah, English summer!
Paul, Is it ever appropriate to label the “series of shots” in case you need to make it clear where the action is taking place at the location? For example:
INT CONCERT HALL – DAY
SERIES OF SHOTS – ON STAGE
–Man plays banjo
–Two Girls dance
–Monkey plays piano
I might try it this way:
INT. CONCERT HALL- DAY (SERIES OF SHOTS)
--On stage, a man plucks his banjo.
--Two girls dance the Charleston.
--A monkey plays Beethoven’s Fifth.
Hello I have a question and I can’t find the answer. I am writing a trekking scene and i have a large caravan of people up in the mountains. I want to show the passing of time (they start at day abd reach their destination at night) do I write Series of shots or montage?
I had it written like that:
MONTAGE OF TREKKING SCENES THROUGH THE DAY
— First they walk, then they climb against the white vastness of the isolated mountain range.
— Crossing an old rope bridge.
— Mary slips off the precipice and George caches him the last second, saving her life.
— A Sherpa leads the procession around a narrow ledge, overlooking a deep ravine. They clung against the rough icy sides to keep safe.
but I want to have an off screen dialogue giving information on where they’re going and why. how should I write it? Thank you!
For me, whether you go MONTAGE or SERIES OF SHOTS is a matter of time. Shorter time frame= SERIES OF SHOTS.
If all the action you mention above happens in five minutes, it’s probably a SERIES OF SHOTS. If it happens
over a week or more, it’s a MONTAGE.
MONTAGE- TREKKING
–Climbing against the vastness of the — mountains.
–Crossing an old rope bridge
–Mary slipping off a precipice, George catching her arm, saving her.
–A Sherpa leading the procession around a narrow ledge overlooking the ravine. They cling against icy sides
against the wind.
END MONTAGE
Voice Over will work for any of these images but if it’s a dialogue scene then it should BE a dialogue scene with a
traditional slugline.
Hi Paul, what technique is appropriate for “a waking up In the morning scene and going through daily routine like brushing, bathing, dressing up, going to work and this repeats itself like its stuck in a loop and progresses really fast to the end kinda scene”
sounds like a MONTAGE to me, or possibly SERIES OF SHOTS. I like the MONTAGE for anything more than a quick sequence.
if it’s minutes, for me, it’s series of shots. if you’re showing a fabulous day long romantic sequence or even a day in the
life of some dude, yeah, i’d do MONTAGE- A DAY IN THE LIFE OF WALTER MITTY
then bullet point the shots
then END MONTAGE
Thank you so much for your instant reply!
So you believe I should have them dialogue at one scene and not VO over the montage? Maybe it would be better if I had a night camp scene and them talking next to the fire? It is just because the dialogue introduces us to the story, where they’re going and why. that is why I thought it would be better to have it over the scenes. The dialogue goes smt like that:
Mary: why are we going to the most remote place on earth again?
George: Because of what Harry said. That is where we will find the mcguffin.
Mary: but how could he be so sure about it?
George: because of the scriptures in the temple
etc.
If it’s an extensive dialogue scene, no, it shouldn’t be in a montage but as a stand alone scene with a slugline.
If you have a single voice over that spreads out over 5 locations over a 1 month period, that’s a montage, and you
just put the V.O. parts over the images you think are right.
Again Thank you!
I’m sorry to trouble you over my one scene but it will help me understand the format better too. I’ve seen similar ideas on movies but I haven’t seen it on paper :/
The idea is that we’re trekking for a day starting very early on and near the night they reach the place they need to be. So based on what you said I guess it is a series of shots because the duration of the scene is a day long. Now about the dialogue on a montage or a series of shots how do I write it if not on VO or OS? Not just on that scene but on every occasion.
SERIES OF TREKKING SHOTS
–Climbing against the vastness of the mountains.
–Crossing an old rope bridge
–Mary slipping off a precipice, George catching her arm, saving her.
–A Sherpa leading the procession around a narrow ledge overlooking the ravine. They cling against icy sides against the wind.
Mary: why are we going to the most remote place on earth again?
George: Because of what Harry said. That is where we will find the mcguffin.
Mary: but how could he be so sure about it?
George: because of the scriptures in the temple
etc.
(Or do I add the dialogue normally with OS or VO? Since this isn’t an extensive dialogue scene and if it were would I write the entire scene as a series of shots end the series of shots write EXT. MOUNTAIN and write the dialogue?)
Again Thank you for your time!
I’d actually probably go MONTAGE if it’s a full day passing, then put the dialogue under each image where you feel it works best,
for instance:
MONTAGE– MARY AND GEORGE, TREKKING
–Climbing against the vastness of the mountains.
MARY (V.O.)
Why are we going to the most remote place on earth again?
–Crossing an old rope bridge
GEORGE (V.O.)
Because of what Harry said. That is where we will find the mcguffin.
–Mary slipping off a precipice, George catching her arm, saving her.
MARY (V.O.)
But how could he be so sure about it?
–A Sherpa leading the procession around a narrow ledge overlooking the ravine. They cling against icy sides against the wind.
GEORGE (V.O.)
Because of the scriptures in the temple
Something like that, depending on the meaning you want to communicate.
How would you handle a series of scenes with dialogue at a sporting event when you bounce back and forth from different folks in the crowd to court side to on the court etc. Leave scene headings without the CUT TO’S and maybe add continous?
Depends on how many “bounce backs” you’ve got. If you’re going back and forth five times, I’d probably just do full slugs
on the locations the FIRST time, then use CROSSCUTTING between these. You potential could just do the arena as the
master slug line and use secondary location slugs–ROW A, BEER STAND, CHEAP SEATS–after that.
This is a stylistic choice. If you’re clean with it, the reader will get it and that’s the point. Don’t over-think it.
Thank you for the article! I was curious about how to format a montage where the shots alternate between two different characters and locations. For example, the first shot is of JERRY waking up and getting out of bed. The next shot is DR. SMITH, arriving at his office in the morning. The next shot is back to Jerry, now brushing his teeth. Then a shot of Dr. Smith at his desk, preparing for his day, etc etc. All of the action would take place over one day, and there would be no dialogue. Would you just use slugs for each shot in that case? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Same way you would a telephone call. Establish the first and second locations with full sluglines. Then
use CROSSCUTTING (instead of the telephone call model of INTERCUT). Then just roll the action lines and dialogue
without sluglines.
Hi Paul. Great site you have here. I’m trying to work out how to format what I think is a montage, only it’s got dialogue in it. It’s a couple trying out potential housemaids … cutting from one to the next to the next, seeing what they do, but also a couple of them have some lines to say. How best to format? Could I dare call it a Montage with a little dialogue? I’d like it set to music, you see. Thanks, Trevor.
shoot me a line at the script gods email with what you wrote and I’ll look it over.
Hello!
I am currently working on a revision for a screenplay. The main protagonist is learning various things from her teacher. These lessons take place in one room. The span between the beginning and the end of the “sequence” is around 30 days.
There are also cutaways in other locations (with the main’s relative or best friend) and some voiceovers.
I included some SUPER transitions to show the reader what day it is and to emphasize that time is passing… but it looks sloppy. I was told that the script is clear and well-written. I want to keep it that way. I’m willing to remove the SUPER transitions from my script…
Any suggestions?
This sounds like a pretty standard MONTAGE to me. Montage can go out on the edge of the action line or in the slugline…list the scenes we see without sluglines, then remember to add END MONTAGE. SUPER means SUPERIMPOSE, that’s not what this is at all.
INT. MUSIC ROOM- DAY (MONTAGE)
–Scene 1
–Scene 2
–3
–4
END MONTAGE
Hi- I have a screenplay starting with a photo & film montage of coal miners over the decades. The last shot, is the first scene of the story, but I’m not sure how to format it; any advice would be very helpful. Thanks!
I did one of those for my last movie CHAT, which looked like this:
INT. FALCON’S APARTMENT- DAY 3
Dim world. Fifteen-watt light bulbs pitched blue. Well-kept
home of a scientist as we see– a doctorate diploma, honors and awards
framed in glass, pictures of Falcon and Mary Rose, library of science manuals and biochemistry
books– genius stuff.
The last move over pictures in TITANIC can be found here, but has camera moves indicated on page 154:
http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~ina22/splaylib/Screenplay-Titanic.pdf
Just do a SERIES OF SHOT or MONTAGE in the slugline, depending on how much time passes. Lots of time, it’s a MONTAGE, less it’s SERIES OF SHOTS.
I was just wondering about a scene where two people are talking at a table in a cafe or something. you just see them laughing and getting to know each other. No dialogue can be heard. Just music playing as we watch them talk and laugh. Would you consider this a montage/series of shots kind of thing? or should it just be described in an action line as something like “so and so talk throughout the evening getting to know each other.”?
Montage plays out over a longer time frame for me. I’d go series of shots…
INT. FANCY SMANCY FRENCH RESTAURANT- NIGHT (SERIES OF SHOTS)
William and Petunia laugh the hours away amidst the escargot and chocolate crepes….
No need to detail each shot unless something important to plot happens.
I want to do a series of shots while having a VO. The VO if of a voice mail and the character in the scene is doing her daily tasks. At the end of the scene we see the character holding the phone listening to the end of the voice mail.
How can I set this up? Thank you
Write out the full Voice Mail message. Then figure out of images you want in the series of shots. Then match the voice parts to the images and end as you describe.
INT. JANE’S HOUSE- DAY (SERIES OF SHOTS)
Jane wakes and crawls out of bed, as we hear:
JIM’S VOICE
Hi Jane. Figured I better leave this on the voice mail.
Jane making coffee…
JIM’S VOICE
We both knew this day would come. I just have to tell you…
Jane looking at the voice mail machine with dread.
JIM’S VOICE
I’m…I’m…a Cub fan. I just can’t keep it a secret any longer.
Jane, the South Side Sox fan, commences to weep.
OK?
Ex:
INT. CLUB – NIGHT (MONTAGE)
While Amy boogies, Mya scrolls through her phone.
Robert VO
Please don’t do this. I still love you.
EXT. SHOPPING PLAZA. LOS ANGELES- DAY
Mya scratches her swollen belly. Amy skips ahead carrying two ice cream cones.
Amy
C’mon. If your gonna be a single mom you’ll have to move quick.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Mya delivers…
Robert VO
Please don’t do this. I still love you.YE
Mya YELLS out as she pushes.
etc……
Hard to be precise without Final Draft or Amazon Storywriter.
You want it as ROBERT (V.O.) in each instance.
Not a huge fan of capping sounds but it’s not “wrong” per se.
Need the END MONTAGE in caps when it’s done.
Rest looks ok to me.
How long period of a time can a montage cover ? I mean how many years maximum ?
How long should it be ?
I’m trying to remember the longest period of time I ever saw in a movie. Remember that super sad Pixar montage in UP where we see the couple pre-marriage in their 20’s(?) ending with him as an old man. That had to be 40 years covered in 2 or 3 minutes. There’s no answer on how long it should be, depends on your story. The montage itself, though, shouldn’t be longer than a couple minutes, screen-time wise. Check out THE GRADUATE again, the great montage over SOUNDS OF SILENCE.
In my script I have a book in a shot and the characters speak about. QUESTION: Should I get permission from the author?
I’ll need more info. If you’re not quoting from the book directly, I doubt there’s an issue. Why’s the book need to be in the frame? If characters in your movie are talking about that book it’s fine, just don’t violate trademark or copyright.
I’m deciding between MONTAGE or SERIES of SHOTS of certain landmarks/key locations to condense time during a travel scene. A car heading from Point A to Point B and list 4-5 different shots.
SERIES OF SHOTS – LEE AND TYSON”S CAR RIDE HOME
—New Jersey Turnpike in the vicinity of Newark Airport
— Port Newark Shipping containers
— Lanscape of New York City .
— Pass by MetLife Stadium o
—A town sign” WELCOME TO ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS
I’d like to do that rather than extra slug lines and providing more detail to cut back on page length,
Thank you in advance for any assistance.
It all looks fine to me, only I would have chosen a MONTAGE here, because of the passage of time. Like this article says a SERIES OF SHORTS, for me, happens over a period of minutes. These 5 shots seem to happen over a period of hours.
Thank you very much. The abve takes place over an hour ride from Philadelphia, PA to North NJ. Wanted to provide a small scene that appears similiar to the into in The Sopranos to provide singht into the area.
Definitely. 1 hour time frame, for me, would be a MONTAGE.
Hi Paul, some great stuff here, really appreciate it. I have another question regarding VO. If I’m opening on a series of establishing shots leading up to the outside of the door to the room of the first scene, how should I present the VO? Currently it plays like:
FADE IN:
SERIES OF SHOTS WITH V.O.
1. University Campus
2. Lecture hall with large audience, studying mathematical subject
3. Tracking down a corridor to the Dean’s office. A man in utilitarian clothes sits outside, relaxed and patient.
CARL V.O
The second law of thermodynamics is the only formula in physics that denotes a passage of time. Time passing creates entropy, and through that, we perceive change. Change to a moment, to a life, to the universe itself. If you could observe all the change, how would you perceive time?
INT – UNIVERSITY DEAN’S OFFICE – DAY
etc, etc, etc.
____________________
Thanks for any help you can give on this, it’s much appreciated!
Based on what you gave me here, I’d just say
If this is opening your movie you’ll need some context:
INT/EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS- DAY (SERIES OF SHOTS)
Then do the bullet points (with perhaps more appealing detail) then comes CARL (V.O.) as is.
You don’t need to sweat which part of the voice over is seen over which shot, that will be something
decided in the edit room. So just keep it simple like this.
I have a scene in a movie where there is a gun duel going on in the main street in the centre of a small western town. Each man takes a step when the town bell rings and on the sixth step, turns and shoots. At the sound of each bell there is a cutaway to various townspeople ducking for cover, or the bell-ringer pulling the bell rope, or some other action. Is this a montage or a series of shots?
It’s playing out over a period of seconds. Six clock rings, six seconds or thereabout. So you’d bullet point those cutaways if you feel you really need them:
SERIES OF SHOTS- THE GUNFIGHT
-Clocktower rings 10
-Mrs Dunning shudders the windows of the thread shop
–Jack Jones locks the hotel doors
–Bellringer pulls the chord– the bell chimes 11…
Something to that effect!
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE NEED A SERIES OF SHOTS /MONTAGE, BUT WITH DIALOGUE? How is that called and how do we format it?
It’s no different.
INT. RESTAURANT- DAY (SERIES OF SHOTS)
Peditto and wife approach the host.
HOST
Table for how many, sir?
–Peditto and wife at table, wife on his shoulders.
PEDITTO(V.O.)
Just one, my wife will sit on my shoulders.
–Peditto and wife at table, 12 chairs set up.
PEDITTO(V.O.)
Twelve. My wife and I like to change seats every 5 minutes.
–Peditto and wife back with host.
PEDITTO
Two please.
Hello Paul,
Greetings from the UK!
I’m wondering if it is appropriate to use Montage for the following. I’ll you a brief outline in what has happened in the scene immediately prior to my intended usage of Montage:-
Max has just stopped Jude from committing a severe act of violence. He instructs Jude to accompany him to a room. both characters walk towards the room. As they walk I have around 10/12 shots that happen before they get to the door.I have included 6 of the shots I intend to use.
– Jude is seated on a barber’s chair; the barber applies the finishing touches to his hair cut
– A man with a distinctive silver ring on his little finger places his hands on the steering wheel of his stationary vehicle.
– Jude and Max get closer to the door
– Jude and his daughter stand silently looking up at the rain as it falls on their faces.
– The barber removes the protective cloak from Jude and brushes away trimmed hair off his face and shoulders.
– Jude and Max enter through the door; the door closes.
INT. ROOM- EVENING
The room is dimly lit…… etc etc
I’m wondering if I use Montage even though all of the additional shots (during the walk) are in different settings. I’m actually redrafting this scene at the moment and it really is the bridge (so to speak) to the climax.
Please help!
If the time frame is from when they start to walk to the door and reaching the door, seems to me it would be a SERIES OF SHOTS, not a montage. Not sure what the connective tissue is for the shots but it might look like
RAPID SHOTS- JUDE AND MAX
FLASHES- JUDE AND MAX
Then bullet point the shots just as you did.
These are probably very quick cuts or flashes. 12 seems like quite a few. i could see coming back to them walking to the door, then 3 or 4 flashes of whatever in the past you’re showing.
End it as you did.
*Love London. Lived there for 3 years.
How is everything going Paul? I am extremely new to the movie writing thing with 0 experience. I woke up 2 weeks and deciding to write a movie. Anyway the movie starts with the 2 main characters getting ready in their respective bedrooms in the morning. The camera goes back and forth between each character. There is no dialogue. Both scenes have music playing. Mellow music is playing with character #1 getting ready and fast pace music is playing while character #2 is getting ready. This is to show the difference in personalities between the two….
I want to know how to write everything that is going on in this scene with the music, different locations and the back and forth camera shot in screenplay format.
That’s easy. You just write in the crosscut after introducing both locations. Then bullet point the shots. For instance:
INT. BILLY’S BEDROOM- DAY
Billy Cool dresses with super cool music (of course). Whilst…
INT. JENNY’S BEDROOM- SAME
Jenny Cool (no relation) dresses with the same damn song in the back.
CROSSCUT RAPID SHOTS between these two who will certainly meet…
–Jenny tries on hat 1, 2, before settling on 3
–Billy sprays his hair like the spiky bat kid in Stranger Things
–Jenny jumps in her 73 302 Boss V8 original Mustang- yeah, she’s that cool
–Billy piles into a charming 73 Beatle- yeah, same year as Jenny’s (told ya they’ll be meeting)…
OK?
Hi Paul, 1st time screenwriter trying to get the hang of formatting. I have a final scent that takes place in one location, a basketball arena, but there are scenes all over the place within the arena. In a locker room, in a hallway, at seats court-side, on the stairs. Currently I am putting scene headings before everything but it looks awkward. Is there a simpler way to do it? Thanks!!
Sean
I’ve posted snips of the scene below.
EST. BASKETBALL ARENA – NIGHT
A bright sports dome GLITTERS with evening lights.
EXT./INT. BASKETBALL ARENA ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Basketball fans and stylish couples pour through the arena gates. Inside, Lia and Kyle and filming themselves with a selfie stick. They pass under a cute cupid themed arch that reads SWEETHEART NIGHT.
We pull back from Kyle to an overhead TV. It shows two ANNOUNCERS, SUPREET and VANCE, sitting courtside.
INT. ARENA COURTSIDE – CONTINUOUS
SUPREET
Hello Baskeball fans this is Supreet Singh coming to you live from courtside on this very special Sweetheart Night here at Staples Center. I’m joined here on my right by color man Vance Knight.
INT. ARENA TUNNEL – SAME
John shuffles through a crowed tunnel with Bill.
BUDDY BILL
There she is.
INT. ARENA COURTSIDE SEATS – CONTINUOUS
We see Lia and Kyle descending arena steps. Lia spots an enormous stuffed lovebird perched on her seat. She squeals with delight and trots down the last few steps, hugs the lovebird and beams a smile to Kyle.
INT. ARENA TUNNEL – CONTINUOUS
John’s watches Lia kiss Kyle on the cheek. His face changes from nervous fear to steely resolve.
JOHN
Oh, hell no. I’m going in.
yeah, that’s a tough one. if it’s a single location you potentially could use secondary slug lines:
INT. CASINO- NIGHT
the casino thieves perch in…
SLOTS AREA
(action)
ROULETTE TABLE
(action)
CRAPS TABLE
All are in the casino so no sluglines for each are needed.
But looking at your example, it’s a giant arena. I think it’s a stretch to not have slugs on all those smaller secondary locations, so yes I’d do
INT. ARENA- NIGHT
(Action)
INT. STAIRWELL- SAME
(Action)
INT. COURTSIDE SEATS- CONTINUOUS
etc…
So, in short, other than the we sees (cut those, everything in action lines we’re seeing so it’s a given) what you have doesn’t look back a-tall!
Thanks Paul!
My screenplay opens with the protagonist holding a presentation in the class room. But we don’t see him in the class room at first. What we see is shots of the destruction of the planet – the opposite of what he is talking about.
It’s something like this:
EXT – SKY – DAY
Blue sky. The sun is shining at its strongest.
NICO (V.O.)
Earth is one special planet. It is the best of all the planets.
EXT – OCEAN – DAY
Shots of a wide ocean. Water calm, only a few natural waves. Whales jump.
NICO (V.O.)
It also has a lot of liquid water.
Shots of high water are shown. Buildings are surrounded by dirty water. Trash swims through the flooded streets.
NICO (V.O.)
There are many islands with beautiful beaches.
Shots of the destroyed beaches of the Maledives.
EXT. MOUNTAINS – DAY
A wide shot of mountains. No snow is seen.
NICO (V.O.)
It also has plate tectonics that create beautiful landscapes and mountaons where we can go skiing.
A ski lift is seen. Not operated. A sign shows: slope closed due to weather conditions.
EXT. DRY FIELDS – DAY
A single FARMER with tanned wrinkeled ski, walks across a dry field. He looks at the sun with desperate eyes.
NICO (V.O.)
Only our Earth contains of an atmosphere that shelters it from the worst of the sun’s rays.
EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY
Beautiful blue sky. A swing.
NICO (V.O.)
But the best thing is –
A MAN pushes a YOUNG GIRL on a swing. A WOMAN watches them, smiling.
NICO (V.O.)
It is the only planet we know that has life.
INT. CLASS ROOM – DAY
Applause.
In the front of the room stands NICO (12), a boy whose long hair distinguishes him from the others. The average mystery boy that every class consists of, more observing than talking.
—
I’m not sure how to format that properly. Is this okay? Or better use SERIES OF SHOTS or MONTAGE and how do I do that? I don’t know if I have to use SCENE HEADINGS, because the locations switch.
Is V.O. right? Or better use O.S.?
Any help?
Thanks in advance!
that’s exactly what I was thinking. it would work better and less clunky to dump all those sluglines and just do it as a SERIES OF SHOTS with voice over.
Then we hit the class and he gives his presentation in O.S. until the camera pans to him and we finally see him. Done deal.
Good, I will dump the sluglines. Thank you very much!
Hey man, I’m having a predicament with this type of situation. My script deals with celebrity crushes, and has an opening credits montage which shows how people of all ages have celebrity crushes, except for the protagonist (who does a VO over the montage). I have it written, currently, in the following manner, but to explain, there is a section of the montage which is supposed to go by much faster than the rest. That is the section I have labeled as SERIES OF SHOTS, but it’s different characters in different locations at different stages of life. Here’s how it’s written as of now (I hope this makes sense — I basically want to know how to indicate that that section of the montage goes by much faster):
OPENING CREDITS MONTAGE
INT. SCHOOL TEEN’S BEDROOM – DAY
SCHOOL TEEN slings his backpack around his shoulder, kisses his laptop, featuring a desktop photo of a hot celebrity, then closes it.
BODHI (V.O.)
Celebrity crushes are kind of a universal thing.
INT. STAR WARS FANATIC’S BEDROOM – DAY
STAR WARS FANATIC plays a video game, surrounded by walls covered in posters of Princess Leah from the 80s.
BODHI (V.O.)
Everyone clouds their mind with celebrity-filled fantasies…
INT. FIVE-YEAR-OLD’S BEDROOM – DAY
A FIVE YEAR OLD KID jumps on his bed, watching the pink Power Ranger fight on TV.
BODHI (V.O.)
…from around the age of five…
CUT TO:
A SERIES OF QUICK SHOTS
of various people, increasing in age, doing an assortment of things, surrounded by their celebrity obsessions:
— A group of TEENS at a sleepover, watching Saved by the Bell, GASPING as Kelly Kapowski appears on screen.
— A COLLEGE GIRL fighting her way through a CROWD to get a picture with Keanu Reeves.
— A MIDDLE-AGED MAN working on a motorcycle in a garage — Cindy Crawford adorning his calendar.
— An OLD MAN singing along to Sinatra — several of ol’ Frankie’s album covers decorating his walls.
BODHI (V.O.)
…up until the time they’re dead.
END SERIES OF QUICK SHOTS
INT. GOTH’S BEDROOM – DAY
…A GOTH COUPLE sits in a circle of dancing candle flames, worshiping two pictures: one of Robert Smith from The Cure, the other, Elvira.
INT. TWELVE-YEAR-OLD BODHI’S BEDROOM – DAY
YOUNG BODHI sits in his bed, watching TV. His walls and shelves decorated with drawings, posters, and action figures of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other 90s favorites…
BODHI (V.O.)
Well… Everyone, except me. I’ve never had a celebrity crush.
…but no celebrity crush possibilities.
INT. JEANIE’S HOUSE – DAY
Bodhi sits on the floor, putting together an unseen jigsaw puzzle in front of the TV, with a preteen girl, JEANIE, 12.
BODHI (V.O.)
I’ve never really needed one. Growing up, my best friend was the girl every boy had a crush on…
Jeanie fits a piece into the puzzle, which we cannot see, looks up at Bodhi and smiles at him.
BODHI (V.O.)
Jeanie: the only girl that ever really interested me…
EXT. TWELVE-YEAR-OLD BODHI’S HOUSE – DAY
BODHI, his MOTHER, and STEPFATHER, pull away in a U-Haul moving truck — a sad Jeanie and her parents standing in the street,
waving them off.
Bodhi watches them get smaller and smaller in the mirror.
BODHI (V.O.)
That is, until my stepdad dragged us off to Philly…
The U-Haul drives on the interstate highway, leaving KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE behind them — gold dome shining in the sun. And approaching —
EXT. PHILADELPHIA – DAY
A bright, sunny view of the skyline behind the Schuylkill River. The U-Haul disappears into interstate traffic.
BODHI (V.O.)
…where I finally got my first celebrity crush.
EXT. UNITED ARTISTS RIVERVIEW – NIGHT
And we’re back to BODHI, watching Emma pull away in the limo.
END MONTAGE
sorry for the one month delay!
this isn’t badly written at all.
if you’re writing sluglines, it’s not a MONTAGE or SERIES OF SHOTS. The whole point is that those are shots, not scenes, therefore you don’t need the sluglines. But here I think you made the right choice going with the short scenes & sluglines. All you need to do is make the interior SERIES OF SHOTS a MONTAGE–because it plays out over an unknown period of time, vs series of shots which plays out faster. So, at the top of the movie, dump the OPENING CREDITS MONTAGE, and at the bottom dump the END MONTAGE. Then dump the SERIES OF SHOTS in the middle and make it a MONTAGE. Keep all the short slugline scenes and you’re good to go. 🙂
Hi Paul
I’m doing an animation. The feature starts with the pony being a little foal. From there we go to 6 years later where he is starting on his dream of becoming a show jumper. He goes to class and works hard on his dream. That I figured out must be a montage. My question is though is there any rules as to how early in the script you can use/insert a montage?
I don’t see why you can’t open the movie with the montage (it IS a montage). Try to find match cuts to highlight passage of time
(for instance two kids running along a fence at 6, a bus passes and the cut is to them running the same fence at 16)…
Can’t do a FLASHBACK at the top because there’s nothing to flashback from if we’re just starting, but a montage is ok.
Hello Paul, I am writing a mockumentary, I already read all the comments and in none of them was it clear what I should do.
The situation is this.
the characters are interviewed one by one at different times, maybe one in the afternoon and another on another day, but for aesthetics they are all shown together, previously he is doing this
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM-DÍA
Gael and Shine are behind the camera and you only see the reaction of the people they interview.
GAEL (O.C.)
¿Cómo piensa que sea el
responsable?.
PROFESOR 1
No sé, pues un psicópata
ENTREVISTADO 2
No entiendo quién se atrevería a
hacer algo así no ha de estar bien
de su cabeza, debe tener mierda ahí
dentro.
ENTREVISTADO 2 (CONT’D)
Un loco.
ENTREVISTADA 4
Alguien que odia todo, la escuela,
el sistema, no sé, alguien que no
le va bien y se desquita de esta
forma.
ENTREVISTADO 5
Yo creo que no fue ningún
estudiante sino alguien pues
importante ¿sabes?.
ENTREVISTADA 2
No sé pero tengo un chingo de
escalofríos. Cuando vengo a la uni
y saber que la policía no lo va a
atrapar y que uno de mis compañeros
fue capaz de algo así. Se pudo
evitar si desde un principio no lo
hubiéramos tomado como un juego,
debieron buscarlo desde hace mucho
no hasta ahorita.
ENTREVISTADO 1
Mmm ¿Cómo a de ser? Yo me imagino
que es alguien que no entra a sus
clases, de entrada que le da igual
la escuela o lo que pase con el.
and I began to realize that it is not completely understood, so I do not know how to write the scenes of the interviewees if with a series of shots or montage and how to put the dialogues of the interviewees if they should be slugsline or not.
Greetings from Mexico
if the interviews are happening over a period of days then it’s a montage. So something like:
MONTAGE- INTERVIEWS
–In a gas station…
LUBE MAN
Yes, I love Donald Trump.
–In a mortuary…
MORTICIAN
Greatest President ever!
–In a nunnery…
NOT THE FLYING NUN
I have such vivid dreams of the man!
END MONTAGE.
And hey, i speak Spanish but many don’t. are you really writing this is fully in Spanish? That will take you out of the running of many –if not most–contests.
Better just to do
Spoken in Spanish with English subtitles, then run the dialogue in English.
Cheers!
What are your thoughts about “Stacked Action” sequences vs. “Series of Shots?” I’ve seen a lot of scripts using this technique. Takes up less real estate on the page. But does it make the reader’s job easier?
yeah, i love that style. but it’s a recognized style of someone else,
kinda like imitating Shane Black. You can do it, and maybe do it well,
but everyone reading is gonna know you’re copping someone else’s riff.
Better to just take an original approach, filter your POV in the action lines.
Scripts are really just dialogue and action. Everyone obsesses over improving
dialogue, forgetting to pour their voice into action lines as well.
that’s way more important than stacking.
Hello Paul,
I have a scenario where 4 characters are in 4 different locations ( in this case, 2 different houses out of which 2 kitchens, 1 livingroom and 1 bedroom). 2 girls are in their kitchens roughly handling utenlils to show that they are angry. Their respective boyfriends just react wondering how to win the girls back. No dialogues. just quick shots.
Can I use “SERIES OF SHOTS” for 4 different locations or is the “SERIES OF SHOTS” to be used only if the action happens quickly in one location?
Please advise.
yeah, should work as…
SERIES OF SHOTS– KITCHEN HIJINKS
–Guy 1 lounging watching TV in his living room
–Girl 1 handling a Ginsu knife with anger
–Guy 2 lounging in bed on his phone
–Girl 2 handling an even bigger Ginsu with threatening motion
INTERCUT guys and gals…
Something to that effect.